WithMademoiselleBourienne'shelptheprincesshadmaintainedtheconversationverywell, butattheverylastmoment, justwhenherose, shewassotiredoftalkingofwhatdidnotinteresther, andhermindwassofullofthequestionwhyshealonewasgrantedsolittlehappinessinlife, thatinafitofabsent-mindednessshesatstill, herluminouseyesgazingfixedlybeforeher, notnoticingthathehadrisen.
Nicholasglancedatherand, wishingtoappearnottonoticeherabstraction, , butcouldthinkofnothingtosay.
"Good-bye, Princess!" saidhe.
Shestarted, flushed, andsigheddeeply.
"Oh, Ibegyourpardon," shesaidasifwakingup."Areyougoingalready, Count? Wellthen, good-by! Oh, butthecushionforthecountess!"
"Waitamoment, I'llfetchit," saidMademoiselleBourienne, andshelefttheroom.
Theybothsatsilent, withanoccasionalglanceatoneanother.
"Yes, Princess," saidNicholasatlastwithasadsmile, "itdoesn'tseemlongagosincewefirstmetatBogucharovo, buthowmuchwaterhasflowedsincethen! Inwhatdistressweallseemedtobethen, yetIwouldgivemuchtobringbackthattime...butthere'snobringingitback."
.
"Yes, yes," saidshe, "butyouhavenoreasontoregretthepast, , Ithinkyouwillalwaysrecallitwithsatisfaction, becausetheself-sacrificethatfillsitnow..."
"Icannotacceptyourpraise," heinterruptedherhurriedly."OnthecontraryIcontinuallyreproachmyself....Butthisisnotatallaninterestingorcheerfulsubject."
, anditwastohimthatshenowspoke.
"Ithoughtyouwouldallowmetotellyouthis," shesaid."Ihadcomesoneartoyou...andtoallyourfamilythatIthoughtyouwouldnotconsidermysympathymisplaced, butIwasmistaken," andsuddenlyhervoicetrembled."Idon'tknowwhy," shecontinued, recoveringherself, "butyouusedtobedifferent, and..."
"Thereareathousandreasonswhy," layingspecialemphasisonthewhy."Thankyou, Princess," headdedsoftly."Sometimesitishard."
"Sothat'swhy! That'swhy!" avoicewhisperedinPrincessMary'ssoul."No, itwasnotonlythatgay, kind, andfranklook, notonlythathandsomeexterior, , resolute, self-sacrificingspirittoo," shesaidtoherself."Yes, heispoornowandIamrich....Yes, that'stheonlyreason....Yes, wereitnotforthat..." Andrememberinghisformertenderness, andlookingnowathiskind, sorrowfulface, shesuddenlyunderstoodthecauseofhiscoldness.
"Butwhy, Count, why?" shealmostcried, unconsciouslymovingclosertohim."Why? !"
Hewassilent.
"Idon'tunderstandyourwhy, Count," shecontinued, "butit'shardforme...." Thereweretearsinhereyesandinhervoice."Ihavehadsolittlehappinessinlifethateverylossishardformetobear....Excuseme, good-by!" andsuddenlyshebegantocryandwashurryingfromtheroom.
"Princess, forGod'ssake!" heexclaimed, tryingtostopher."Princess!"
'seyes—andwhathadseemedimpossibleandremotesuddenlybecamepossible, inevitable, andverynear.
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