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卡拉玛佐夫兄弟_(俄)陀思妥耶夫斯基(CHAPTER2THEDUEL) 第(6/9)页

"That'swhat'ssostrange," Isaid."ForIoughttohaveownedmyfaultassoonasIgothere, beforehehadfiredashot, beforeleadinghimintoagreatanddeadlysin; butwehavemadeourlifesogrotesque, thattoactinthatwaywouldhavebeenalmostimpossible, foronlyafterIhavefacedhisshotatthedistanceoftwelvepacescouldmywordshaveanysignificanceforhim, andifIhadspokenbefore, hewouldhavesaid, 'Heisacoward, thesightofthepistolshasfrightenedhim, nousetolistentohim.' Gentlemen," Icriedsuddenly, speakingstraightfrommyheart, "lookaroundyouatthegiftsofGod, theclearsky, thepureair, thetendergrass, thebirds; natureisbeautifulandsinless, andwe, onlywe, aresinfulandfoolish, andwedon'tunderstandthatlifeisheaven, forwehaveonlytounderstandthatanditwillatoncebefulfilledinallitsbeauty, weshallembraceeachotherandweep."

IwouldhavesaidmorebutIcouldnot; myvoicebrokewiththesweetnessandyouthfulgladnessofit, andtherewassuchblissinmyheartasIhadneverknownbeforeinmylife.

"Allthisasrationalandedifying," saidmyantagonist, "andinanycaseyouareanoriginalperson."

"Youmaylaugh," Isaidtohim, laughingtoo, "butafterwardsyouwillapproveofme."

"Oh, Iamreadytoapproveofyounow," saidhe; "willyoushakehands? forIbelieveyouaregenuinelysincere."

"No," Isaid, "notnow, lateronwhenIhavegrownworthieranddeserveyouresteem, thenshakehandsandyouwilldowell."

Wewenthome, mysecondupbraidingmealltheway, .

"Hehasdisgracedtheuniform," theysaid; "lethimresignhiscommission."

Somestoodupforme: "Hefacedtheshot," theysaid.

"Yes, buthewasafraidofhisothershotandbeggedforforgiveness."


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