"Ifhehadbeenafraidofbeingshot, hewouldhaveshothisownpistolfirstbeforeaskingforgiveness, , there'ssomethingelseinthis, somethingoriginal."
Ienjoyedlisteningandlookingatthem."Mydearfriendsandcomrades," saidI, "don'tworryaboutmyresigningmycommission, —it'swiththatobjectIamleavingtheregiment."
WhenIhadsaidthiseveryoneofthemburstoutlaughing.
"Youshouldhavetoldusofthatfirst, thatexplainseverything, wecan'tjudgeamonk."
Theylaughedandcouldnotstopthemselves, andnotscornfully, , eventhosewhohadbeensternestintheircensure, andallthefollowingmonth, beforemydischargecame, theycouldnotmakeenoughofme."Ah, youmonk," , theybegantryingtodissuademe, eventopityme: "Whatareyoudoingtoyourself?"
"No," theywouldsay, "heisabravefellow, hefacedfireandcouldhavefiredhisownpistoltoo, buthehadadreamthenightbeforethatheshouldbecomeamonk, that'swhyhedidit."
, buthadnotbeentheobjectofspecialattention, andnowallcametoknowmeatonceandinvitedme; theylaughedatme, , theauthoritiestooknonoticeofit, becausemyantagonistwasanearrelationofourgeneral, andastherehadbeennobloodshedandnoseriousconsequences, andasIresignedmycommission, , regardlessoftheirlaughter, , inthecompanyofladies; womenparticularlylikedlisteningtomethenandtheymadethemenlisten.
"ButhowcanIpossiblyberesponsibleforall?" everyonewouldlaughinmyface."CanI, forinstance, beresponsibleforyou?"
"Youmaywellnotknowit," Iwouldanswer, "sincethewholeworldhaslongbeengoingonadifferentline, , well, , yet, yousee, youalllaughatme."
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