[14] TodefineadesirableJapaneseidentityIwouldliketopickouttheword “decent”whichisamongtheadjectivesthatGeorgeOrwelloftenused, alongwithwordslike“humane”, “sane” and “comely”, “ambiguous” usedformyidentificationin “Japan, theAmbiguous, andMyself”.ThereisawideandironicaldiscrepancybetweenwhattheJapaneseseemlikewhenviewedfromoutsideandwhattheywishtolooklike.
[15] Ifyouwillallowmetomentionhimagain, mymentallyhandicappedsonHikariwasawakenedbythevoicesofbirdstothemusicofBachandMozart, — “not” andnocere — “hurt”, thatis, “nottohurt”.Hikari’smusicwasinthissenseanaturaleffusionofthecomposer’sowninnocence.
[16] AsHikariwentontocomposemoreworks, Icouldnotbuthearinhismusicalso “thevoiceofacryinganddarksoul”.Mentallyhandicappedashewas, hisstrenuouseffortfurnishedhisactofcomposingorhis “habitoflife” .
[17] Thevoiceofacryinganddarksoulisbeautiful, , .
[18] Thisbeliefofminehasnotbeenfullyproved.“Weakperson” thoughIam, withtheaidofthisunverifiablebelief, Iwouldliketo “sufferdullyallthewrongs” , marginalandoff-centreexistenceintheworldIwouldliketoseekhow — withwhatIhopeisamodestdecentandhumanistcontribution — Icanbeofsomeuseinacureandreconciliationofmankind.
[1994]
Notes
1.TextCisthebodypartofthelecturegivenbytheauthorwhenhereceivedNobelPrizeinLiteraturein1994.
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