Atthetime，，andthelightontheansweringmachinealwaysblinkedinapanickyway，，，lovewassomethingbehindatintedwindow，partapparition，partshadow，-lookingcouples，I’dwonderwheretheyfoundlove，andwanttofollowthemhomefortheanswer.
AfterafewyearsinthecityIgotmydreamjob—writingaboutweddingsforamagazinecalled7Days。’dalwayswantedtoknow.
Ifoundatleastonesureanswertothequestion“Howdoyouknowit’slove？”Youknowwhentheeverydaythingssurroundingyou—theleaves，theshadeoflightinthesky，abowlofstrawberries—suddenlyshimmerwithakindofunreality.
Youknowwhenthetinydetailsaboutanotherperson，onesthatareinsignificanttomostpeople，，fromherhandwritingtothewayshescratchedontheirapartmentdoor，“onenight，amothwasflyingaroundalightbulb，，‘That’’stheguy.’”Youalsoknowit’slovewhenyoucan’’veeverinterviewedsaidthatontheirfirstorseconddate，，fallinginloveislikewalkingintoasoundproofconfessionalbooth，，andatthesametimelikefindingapairofgreatoldbluejeansthatareexactlyyoursizeandseemasifyou’’’ssomemoderntruthtoCinderella’stale—it’slovewhenyou’veincrediblycomfortable，thentheshoefitsperfectly.
Finally，Ithinkyou’veinloveifyoucanmakeeachotherlaughattheveryworsttimes—whentheIRSisauditingyouorwhenyou’，90percentofbeinginloveismakingeachother’slivesfunnierandeasier，allthewaytothedeathbed.
SevenyearsagoIstartedwritingaboutloveandweddingsfortheNewYorkTimesinacolumncalled“Vows”。AndnowthatIhavebeenonthisbeatforsolong，astrangethinghashappened：I’，：’thavetobethin，naturallyblond，super-successful，sociallyconnected，knowledgeableaboutpoliticsorevenparticularlycharmingtofindit.
I’veinterviewedmanypeoplewhoweredownontheirluckineveryway—aballerinawithchronicbackproblems，aphysicistwhohadbeen112（hecounted）disastrousblinddates，，whentheyfoundit，broughthumor，candlelight，home-cookedmeals，fun，adventure，poetryandlongconversationsintotheirlives.
Whenpeopleaskmewheretofindlove，，andhedidn’，“，，wewillfindyou.”
That’swhyIalwaystellpeoplelookingforlovetowaitforthat“Iwonthelottery”feeling-wait，wait，wait！Don’treadarticlesabouthowtotrap，’tworryaboutyourlipstickoryourheight，becauseit’，takecareofyourself，anddon’.
Eventuallyitevenfoundme.At28，，Iwasbuyingatypewriterribbon，—bonfiresbytheocean，drivingonthesandinanoldjeep—allthosethingsthathecherished.
HowdidIknowthatitwastruelove？Ourfirstrealdatelastedforninehours：wejustcouldn’，butIcoulddancewithhim，’slovewhenyoufinallystoptrippingoveryourtoes.
Ayearafterwemet，wemarried.
Ihavecometocherishwritingthe“Vows”，Ihaveproofthatlove，optimism，guts，grace，perfectpartnersandgoodluckdo，infact，，inmyopinion，isnotafantasy，’sasgrittyandrealasthesubway，itcomesaroundjustasregularly，andaslongasyoucanstickitoutontheplatform，youwon’tmissit.
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