AfewmonthslaterIheardshe', Itransposedthesyllablesofherfirstandlastnamesintoludicrousgarble."DinneronSaturday?" Iproposed, embarrassedandexpectingrejection."Iwouldenjoythat," sheanswered, soundingpleased.
-humored-happy, shesaid, totourvillageswhosehistoriesshehadreadabout.
Weneverlocatedtherestaurant, andthenalmostranoutofgas.Wefinallyateat10p.m., , withherstraightblondhairandclassicfeatures, shestoodoutamongthelocalkids.
Backatschool, , andthenshequicklykissedmycheek."Thankyouforawonderfulevening," , shedisappearedintothedormitory.
Howmanytimeshavetherebeenmomentslikethat, momentsofsuchencompassinggraceandlovethatIdoubtedtheiractuality? Momentslikethedayofourmarriage, whenonacrispSundaymorningonthePacificcoastsheenteredthechurchonherfather'.
ButOctober15, 1993, , wearoseat5a.m., ? Shekissedbothofourchildrenastheyslept, buttheyneverstirredorsaid "Goodluck" or "Iloveyou, Mommy." Inthehospital, afterwesignedthepapers, Iwatchedherchangeintoafadedcottongownandtwopairsofsocks, asiftheworstinjurythatdaywouldbethechilloftheoperatingroom.
Shecriedinmyarmsandsaidshedidn', butnowlookedsofearful.
FeelingfranticanddisconnectedIkissedher, .
Whenshereturnedtoherroomlatethatafternoon, onherchestwasanexpanseofbillowingwhitebandageplacedbyasurgeon'shandswithaprecisionanddelicacyshewouldhaveadmired.Iwasremindedofthecoverletshehadappliquédforourchildren'—reassuringandnotasharshasIhadexpected.
Sittingbesideherinadimlylitroomthatsmelledsharplyofdisinfectant, Irealizedthatbecausemylifewassointertwinedwithhers, I, too, -graycloudsslowlytraversingtheafternoonsky.
, , andbrushedthegray-fleckedhairacrosshersweatybrow.
"Iloveyou," Isaid.
Atthesewords, , butforaninstanthereyessharpenedwithrecognition, andagentlesmileliftedtheedgesofhermouth.
"Iloveyoutoo," shewhispered, , Isaidoncemoreinmymind'.
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