Hestoppedtalking, Ididn’tknowwhatwasgoingoninreality, butheknewit, ’, , butIdidn’tcry, becauseIknewifIdid, , “Everythingwillbejustfine; youjusthavetotakepropercareofyourself.” Insideofme, theflameofsadnesskeptburningandIwasbarelykeepingmytearsfromfalling, butIknewIwasstrongenoughtohandlemyself.
Thatmomentwasfollowedbyajoke, whichIdon’, , , thathappy, thatsadatthesametime.
OnthesamenightIgotacallfromhim, askingmetogoandseehim, becausehewasn’ , , andhisblueeyesdidn’’tmakemyselftobelievethatitwasreallygoingtohappen.
Itwas2: .“Iknowwhat’sgoingtohappennext, butyoudon’tworry...I’llbeallright, ’’snotlikewe’renotgoingtoseeeachotheragain?”
Heaskedmetoholdhishandhard, ,“Wheneveryoufeelit’stimetoreadthis, justopenit.” Iclosedmyeyes, andwithinsecondsIfelthispulsestoppumping, , andIcouldn’tdoanythingelsetomakethemlookbackatme.
AtthatsecondIcouldn’’, butIdidn’’tbreath, becausehewastheairIwasbreathing, hewasthehappinessthatwaskeepingmealive, hewasthefriendthatIrespectedmorethanabrother, ’snotthereanymore, he’’sjusttheletterandme.
2weekshadpassedafterhisdeath, andIwasstilldepressed, angry, sick, ’’teating, drinking, nordoinganything.For24hoursIwaslyingonmybed, ' ttalktoanyone, becauseldidn’, rememberthegoodtimeswehad.
,“Don’tbesillyanddon’, butyouknowwhat, , andyoujusthavetogetusedtoit, fightit, , , ’rethepersonwhomakeseveryonesmile, yousharetheirproblems, understand, , andIknowyouwon’tforgetme...Iguessthisisgoodbye, butIdon’twanttosaythat, I’lljustsayI’llseeyoulater.”
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